was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize