If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are two peas in an std pod
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
