she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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