my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
