If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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