I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do vagina's smell?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
