I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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