So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
