We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
