I bet he comes in French.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
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She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies