Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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  (707): I haven't been laid since Bush was president. http://tfl.nu/3tqj
  Replies (33) Good night (546) Bad night (2887)
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  (805): View more from California

  Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?

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  (805): Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself? http://tfl.nu/fcpr
  Replies (19) Good night (1087) Bad night (2726)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (671) Bad night (9640)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  His little brother walked in on us. Six times.

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  (636): His little brother walked in on us. Six times. http://tfl.nu/ruyk
  Replies (29) Good night (1484) Bad night (9119)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

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  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4793) Bad night (962)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  (781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja
  Replies (11) Good night (4798) Bad night (1482)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?

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  (978): Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick? http://tfl.nu/mjo7
  Replies (25) Good night (6468) Bad night (1297)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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  (605): How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts? http://tfl.nu/1g9l
  Replies (16) Good night (2926) Bad night (754)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think

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  (732): because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think http://tfl.nu/340q
  Replies (8) Good night (1741) Bad night (638)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.

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  (506): My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out. http://tfl.nu/qizv
  Replies (29) Good night (1038) Bad night (2005)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.

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  (610): Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night. http://tfl.nu/8tyy
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (460)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.

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  (801): Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom. http://tfl.nu/symd
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (357)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at

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  (716): Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at http://tfl.nu/gjoz
  Replies (12) Good night (764) Bad night (325)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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  (785): SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE http://tfl.nu/zmng
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.

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  (248): There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now. http://tfl.nu/xeuz
  Replies (2) Good night (293) Bad night (515)

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