are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.