Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah...right...LMAO

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  (703): belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads (202): i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel (703): Yeah...right...LMAO http://tfl.nu/ndo8
  Replies (4) Good night (1571) Bad night (1029)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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  (207): using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code. http://tfl.nu/hjm4
  Replies (26) Good night (4355) Bad night (979)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.

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  (609): The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner. http://tfl.nu/zame
  Replies (6) Good night (1770) Bad night (1120)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

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  (412): on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on. http://tfl.nu/nsc2
  Replies (20) Good night (5548) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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  (617): It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6jkk
  Replies (10) Good night (4277) Bad night (1079)
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  (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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  (347): full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb http://tfl.nu/b13u
  Replies (1) Good night (1926) Bad night (664)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...

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  (509): Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place... http://tfl.nu/dgik
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (713)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.

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  (320): Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later. http://tfl.nu/4ix3
  Replies (8) Good night (1330) Bad night (503)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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  (617): I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me. http://tfl.nu/t0zt
  Replies (4) Good night (2499) Bad night (629)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.

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  (214): I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano. http://tfl.nu/5l5s
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (338)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..

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  (727): Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter.. http://tfl.nu/a2wm
  Replies (0) Good night (878) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.

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  (978): i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken. http://tfl.nu/6c3c
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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  (442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (1226)
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  (949): View more from California

  It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.

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  (949): It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants. http://tfl.nu/9y1w
  Replies (5) Good night (327) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know.

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  (815): Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it. (312): I don't even want to know. http://tfl.nu/t388
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (558)

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