What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
