Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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