hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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