Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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