My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
