i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Randomize
