Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize