am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
