so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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