we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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