I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
