Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
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you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.