There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass