Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.