Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.