guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
