i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
