Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
