Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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