Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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