Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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