I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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