i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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