I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
