so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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