Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
