did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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