so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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