There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
