he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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