Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's always time for handjobs
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
