are you still at the devil's house?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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