While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
