please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
