i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
