May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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