wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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