dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
