A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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