I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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