I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
