I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't turn off my feet"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
