Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
