South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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