Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
