Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Someone came in the potted fern
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
