One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize