Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
