He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
