she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
