What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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