look no pants
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
