No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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