Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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