Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish i was in the wii world.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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